Off She Goes

The story has moved off the front page, a casualty of the all-consuming news cycle. But the heartbreaking account of an adopted, difficult child shipped back to Russia brought to mind a more comical incident involving one of my friends and his travails in trying to harness the independent spirit of his elder daughter.

After numerous notes home from her teacher reporting bad behavior, the daughter (let’s call her Carol, and her father, Bob, to protect the not so innocent) had achieved the near impossible. She had managed to vex Bob to the point of absurd frustration. He warned her the next note home would bring swift, irreversible judgment—banishment from home. She’d be carted off to the orphanage.

All went well for a few weeks, but seven-year-old girls have a hard time towing the line for too long, so the inevitable letter came home one wintry day. Bob went ballistic. He ordered Carol to put on her winter coat as he was taking her to the orphanage. She refused. She didn’t cry. She just refused to cooperate. Her younger sister did the crying, imploring her father not to take her sister away. No amount of entreaties from Bob’s wife could dampen his anger and resolve.

A war of wills had been joined, with Bob trying to stuff Carol into her coat and Carol resisting. Being bigger, Bob prevailed. He carried Carol to the car as her sister and mother tried to get Bob to be reasonable.

As they were driving away, it dawned on Bob that he had driven himself into a proverbial corner. What was he to do now? A few blocks away, he drove into a church parking lot. Carrying the threat further, Bob got out of the car and came around to Carol’s side. She locked the door. She locked all the doors. His keys still dangling from the ignition switch, Bob demanded she open the door. She shook her head, no. He screamed at her to open the door. No. He told her he was just kidding, that he wasn’t really going to give her way. She stood her ground. He pleaded with her to let him in, that he’d take her home. She won.

I’d like to be able to report that Carol, or Bob, learned their lesson that day. Truth is, they have pushed each other’s buttons for the next three decades. But they have a wonderful, loving relationship. And a great story to pass down through the family.