From Russia With Love

Russians are a pretty romantic lot.

The most common wedding day is Friday, no doubt to permit maximum revelry without the anxiety of having to go to work the next two days.

Before marrying, many Russian couples buy a padlock on which they etch their names. They attach the lock to public sites, such as the metal “trees” placed across a bridge spanning the Muscovy River in Moscow for just such a purpose. They pick elaborate locks, not your standard Master Lock. Though intended to signify eternal bonds, the locks have no magical power to sustain a relationship—50% of all Russian marriages end in divorce.

Russians are fiercely proud. A guide from Yaroslav said a woman of that town, Anne, daughter of Yaroslav I of Kiev, was married off to Henry I of France in 1051. Among her other accomplishments, according to the guide, was her introduction of the fork and regular bathing to the court of France. Russians, not the French, were the sophisticates of yesteryear, and of today, she implied.

Though commonly associated with Russia, nesting dolls, matruskas, are not native to the country. They came to Russia from Japan at the end of the 19th century.

Along with matruskas, one of the most common souvenirs is a music box of an onion-domed church. It took a while but I finally found one that didn’t play Lara’s Theme. What did the music box makers do before Doctor Zhivago?

Onion domes on churches are painted gold, green or blue depending on the aesthetics desired by the architect and congregation and the latter’s treasury. Being round they aid in the run-off of snow and rain.

Russian ice cream, at least the flavors served on the Viking Cruise line, must be lactose free. How else to explain that not once during the trip did I suffer from my usual ailment after enjoying two scoops. And enjoy I did. Ice cream was served every lunch and dinner. I’m afraid to think what my blood sugar level is after such gluttony. For the record, for those who care, I didn’t gain, or lose, any weight in Russia.

Russian computer hackers were hard at work during our trip. Several fellow travelers had their emails compromised with messages to friends and family seeking emergency funds to save them from misfortune. Hopefully, none of you received an SOS email from me. No doubt, if you had, you would have gladly opened up your wallets to speed my return back to the Good Ol’ USA.

It was kinda weird to see one of the films featured on the closed circuit on-board TV was the James Bond flick From Russia With Love. Asked how she felt seeing 007 and other American agents always triumph over evil, inept Russian spies, one guide replied, “Did you ever see how U.S. spies were portrayed in Russian movies?”

Growing up in the 1950s, I was drilled in school to hide under my wooden desk in case of an atomic bomb attack. Russian children were instructed to hide under white sheets.

Our river cruise managed to avoid any prolonged heat wave, acrid smoggy air from peat bog fires around Moscow or rain. We left St. Petersburg before a wind storm and electrical blackout hit the city and enjoyed normal Moscow temperatures in the 60s and 70s, a far cry from the 100-plus days Muscovites suffered through for almost a full month. I did have one weather-related regret—I would have liked the ability to be transported for one day into next January so we could have experienced a Russian winter. One day, maybe just one hour, would have been sufficient.

By the way, minus 40 degrees Celsius is equal to minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit, not an uncommon occurrence during a Russian winter.

The 90s-100 degree days taxed the country’s limited air conditioning capacity (fortunately for us, our ship’s a/c worked efficiently). It was especially challenging for the museums where high temperatures and humidity left us wondering how the treasures of the Hermitage and other venues could be properly maintained.

I always thought Siberia encompassed the land mass east of the Ural Mountains all the way to the Pacific. Not so. Siberia does start at the Urals, but the eastern coastal area is known simply as the Far Eastern region. By train, the Trans-Siberian railroad from St. Petersburg to Vladivostok traverses 5,753 miles. The trip takes eight days.

Speaking of rail lines, the Moscow subway, known as the Metro, is clean and boasts some beautiful marble-lined stations, adorned with patriotic statues sculptured during Stalin’s reign. But trains are not air conditioned and are no less noisy than their New York counterparts. They are cheaper, however. Each one-way ride costs 26 rubles. You can ride all day for about 85 cents.

Final tidbit of the day—Moscow’s Red Square was named long before the Russian Revolution. Red, in Russian, means beautiful. I wouldn’t call Red Square beautiful. I prefer Krakow’s central square, or Prague’s. But Red Square is definitely impressive.