J.R. Is Back

J.R. Ewing is back. In case you haven’t seen it, the Dallas villain we loved to hate is in a new commercial promoting energy efficiency, not from oil, but from solar power. “Shine, baby, shine,” is his new mantra. Here’s a link to the spot the TV character is doing (http://video.nytimes.com/video/2010/07/13/science/1247468437145/jr-ewing-goes-green.html?scp=3&sq=larry%20hagman&st=cse), but if you just want to read about it, here’s a text link (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/14/business/media/14adco.html?scp=1&sq=larry%20hagman&st=cse).

Gilda and I were avid Dallas fans (maybe that partially explains why we named our daughter Ellie—Miss Ellie was the Ewing family matriarch). Being new parents when Dallas began its 13-year run in 1978, we were okay with staying home most Friday nights for a turgid visit to Southfork, home of the Ewing clan. The Texas-sized ranch played as big a part as Tara did in Gone With the Wind. It represented power. Family. Tradition. Continuity.

In May 1986, the discount store industry held its annual convention in Dallas. I penned a cover story for my magazine’s convention issue that forecast dire days for most of the remaining full-line discount stores, companies like Gold Circle, Richway, Venture, Rose’s, Clover, Gemco, and Jamesway. If you’re not familiar with those retail chains, it’s either because they operated in areas you never visited, and/or my predictions came true. None of those companies remains in business.

As part of the convention, one of the leading packaged goods suppliers sponsored a dinner reception at Southfork in the suburb of Plano. Naturally I responded positively to the invitation. As I drove up, Southfork loomed just as it did on Dallas. Once inside, however, Southfork lost its Texas grandeur. Sure, it was nicely decorated, but it was waaaay smaller in real-life than in reel-life. Instead of a row of second story bedrooms worthy of any Four Seasons hotel, Southfork had but one second floor bedroom. The first floor was nicely furnished but far from spacious. Turns out, Southfork served only as the exterior backdrop of the weekly CBS soap. The front façade and the pool in the back were the only actual Southfork features used in the filming. (Once home to a real Texas family when the series began, Southfork is now a tourist attraction and event venue with a separate conference building and rodeo arena.)

As I concealed my disappointment about the down-sized Southfork, I found my assigned dinner table and sat down amid executives from Gold Circle and Richway. Both chains were part of Federated Department Stores, the company that owned Bloomingdale’s, Filene’s and A&S, among others. Gold Circle was based in Columbus, Ohio; Richway in Atlanta. They had recently been combined for greater efficiency and marketing clout, but I had written they would probably be sold, possibly to Target (which happened two years later).

To say my dinner companions were frosty towards me would be an understatement. I still remember the CFO, Robert Glass, introducing me to his colleagues by noting this is the miscreant who wrote our company off in Chain Store Age (okay, so he didn’t say miscreant, but it was clear from his voice that he didn’t care for my analysis, even if he did tell me a few years later when he was with Loehmann’s he agreed with it, but just didn’t appreciate seeing it in print). I spent the next hour defending my position, hoping not to embarrass myself by knocking over a wine glass or doing something else to further imprint my notoriety into my dinner companions’ collective minds.