Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Is the United States Still a Superpower?

On this 80th commemoration of the bombing of Pearl Harbor that presaged America’s entry into the Second World War from which it emerged as the unchallenged superpower champion of democracy, it is appropriate to ask, “Is the United States still a superpower?” 


Yes, we possess more destructive nuclear arms that any other country, but in this age of cyber warfare and fanatical, religious extremist organizations, is our military sufficiently organized around affirmative responses to today’s challenges?


During World War II we fought the Axis Powers on two fronts. Could we engage on two theaters of operation today, for after all, Russia is threatening to invade Ukraine and China has similar designs on Taiwan? 


Alliances forged after WWII are fraying. Our commitments are subject to political whims. The last administration cozied up to autocrats. America’s aversion to be involved in international conflicts—until our land or citizens are attacked—has centuries-long roots. 


Domestically, we are a nation in transition, so much so that nearly one in four Americans indicated in a survey a “willingness to secede” from the Union. The percentage was markedly higher for Republicans in Southern and Mountain states (https://dailyvoice.com/new-york/whiteplains/politics/new-poll-reveals-percentages-of-americans-who-want-to-secede-by-region/812724/). 


Our politics is no longer the “art of compromise,” but rather a “winner-take-no-prisoners” form of combat. 


And all the while, the infrastructure that empowered our economic strength—railway, air and highway systems, modern telecommunications, power grids, clean water supplies and industrial plants—has atrophied instead of being maintained and upgraded while China has leapfrogged our capacities.


Perhaps a deeper question we should ask is, “What is the true nature of American character?” Is it an E Pluribus Unum ideal or a mythologized Western movie psyche that values the individual over collective responsibility? Has the bifurcated public response to COVID—the wearing of masks and the acceptance of vaccinations—highlighted the fissures in our society?


To be a superpower democracy requires not just the consent of the governed but also an educated public, educated not just to the truths and myths of our nation’s founding but also to the missteps we made along the way, so the faults are not repeated. 


Are we a superpower? The nuclear code black box a presidential aide carries near the president does not by itself answer the question in the affirmative. 


American superpower status comes with responsibilities. It is time we rededicated ourselves to the values our mythology ascribed to the United States.

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Short Takes: Wisdom in a Few Words

My voice of partisanship and, yes, reason is not alone. Here are some shared sentiments I culled from Facebook and Twitter postings you might not have seen:

“I don’t like paying higher gas prices either but it’s incredible that people will buy GOP outrage on gas that’s $4 instead of $3.50—but then excuse GOP for keeping the minimum wage at $72.5 instead of $15, insulin at $1200 instead of $35, & paid leave at 0 weeks instead of 12 weeks.”—Qasim Rashid


“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”—Desmond Tutu


“If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self checkouts make prices go down?”—Mohamad Safa


“Being an American means reckoning with a history fraught with violence and injustice. Ignoring that reality in favor of mythology is not only wrong but also dangerous. The dark chapters of American history have just as much to teach us, if not more, than the glorious ones, and often the two are intertwined.”—Ken Burns


“When you see your roads being paved and bridges being built, thank a Democrat.”—Left Action


“Companies that complain they can’t find workers because unemployment pays more should realize it’s because they aren’t paying enough.”—The Other 98%


“When you have more than you need, build a long table not a higher wall.”—St. Alban’s Episcopal Church


“This holiday season, if you really want to thank Jesus for your food, then give him and his family a path to citizenship and pay them living wage!”—The Other 98%


“Proud Boys asking for better jail conditions is just another example of them not understanding things until it personally affects them.”—The Other 98%


“You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.”—Left Action


“The Pentagon spends over $2,000,000,000 every single day. Meanwhile, 40,000 veterans experienced homelessness last year. What if ‘support our troops’ meant reinvesting funds to actually provide veterans with basic necessities?”—The Other 98%


“Is there a nicer feeling than being in a room full of people and the dog chooses to come sit next to you?”—Peace, Love and Music


“Apparently, 12 years of tuition free public school isn’t socialism. But add 4 more years and suddenly it’s a communist plot.”—Jeffrey Levin


“White privilege is refusing to get a proven vaccine while millions of Black and brown people around the world still can’t get access.”—Robert Reich


“Likely we will have to live with Covid and its variants for many years. Vaccinating the world regardless of cost will save millions of lives in the US let alone around the world. We don’t need more shut downs, we need more people vaccinated to prevent deaths.”—Maxine Clark


“The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman’s life, to her well-being, and dignity. It is a decision she must make for herself. When government makes that decision for her, she is being treated less than a fully adult human.”—Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Monday, November 29, 2021

Crime Caper Movies Beat Smash & Grab Reality

The recent rash of “smash and grab” robberies made me think of a delightfully charming 80-year-old heist flick starring William Powell and Kay Francis. “Jewel Robbery” had breezy dialogue, no violence and the type of escapism the masses in the midst of the Depression needed to make their lives a little less gray.


For good measure, view another 1932 gem, “Trouble in Paradise,” with Kay Francis as a rich businesswoman preyed upon by tandem swindlers Herbert Marshall and Miriam Hopkins.


Here is my list of crime capers to enjoy:


Jewel Robbery


Trouble in Paradise


Topkapi


How to Steal a Million


Charade (the Cary Grant-Audrey Hepburn version)


The Sting


The Lookout


The Asphalt Jungle


They Live by Night


Larceny, Inc.


Double Indemnity


Oceans 11 (all versions)


Raising Arizona


Fargo


 

Monday, November 8, 2021

Marathon Musings and Top Racing Movies

I am not a long distance runner. Never was. Though in my youth—by that I mean at least till I turned 50 or so—I could run pretty fast. Short distances. If I hit a ground ball to the second baseman during a weekly softball game I had a better than even chance of beating his throw to first base. 


As a youngster I ran faster than any of my friends. They learned to ride bicycles. I didn’t. I reasoned I could keep up with them by simply running. I was wrong. I never learned to ride a two-wheeler until I was 40, long after my childhood friends and I parted ways. 


Age coupled with some peripheral neuropathy in my feet slowed me down. It mostly manifested itself during daily walks up and down Park Avenue during the last decade of my commute to and from work. Ever the competitive person, I would imagine myself in a speed-walking contest with an unsuspecting pedestrian at least half a block ahead of me. In the morning, upon exiting from Grand Central Terminal, I’d race him or her to my office at 425 Park Avenue midway between East 55th and 56th streets. On the way back home I’d race to the entrance to Metro North. 


My racing reverie was inspired by Sunday’s 50th anniversary of the New York Marathon. Gilda’s brother, Carl, did run marathons, so one Marathon Sunday some four decades ago we decided to brave the chilly weather and cheer him on. We waited behind blue police barricades at the 20-mile point, up in the Bronx. Carl was a good runner. We expected him to pass within an hour of the leaders.


We waited and waited for nearly four hours. No Carl. Numb from the chill and hungry, we headed home, figuring Carl must have pulled up lame before our vantage point. Being pre-cell phone days, we had to wait until we returned home to contact him.


Turned out Carl was not injured, that he indeed had kept to his expected pace. But the stress of the race had so contorted his image that we didn’t recognize him as he loped by. Ah, well…


It’s been many years since Carl ran a marathon. Since then several friends have trained for and run the NYC Marathon. I’m in awe of their discipline and stamina. Congratulations to the 30,000 who participated in Sunday’s race. They were winners even if they came up short of the required 26.2 mile course.



Racing Movies: Before anyone reacts to my list of favorite movies on land, sea or air with a racing theme, or significant scene, be aware I have not seen any of the “Fast and Furious” or “Cars” franchises. Here are my recommended films: 


National Velvet


Chariots of Fire


Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner


Rush


Ford vs Ferrari


Seabiscuit


Grand Prix


Prefontaine


A Day at the Races


Ben-Hur


Days of Thunder


Breaking Away


American Graffiti


Rebel Without a Cause


Grease

Wednesday, November 3, 2021

For Democrats the Time To Act Is NOW

I wonder if President Joe Manchin and Vice President Kyrsten Lea Sinema are happy today in light of a Republican gubernatorial win in Virginia and a potential upset victory in New Jersey? Oh, did you think they were just U.S. senators from, respectively West Virginia and Arizona? Not by a long shot. 


For, after all, it has been their repeated intransigence that has left the Democratic Party in disarray, unable to cobble together progressive pocketbook and environmental legislation that Democrats could run on instead of having to defend Republican attacks on culture issues. 


They, not Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, and surely not Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, are driving the agenda of the current administration. Yes, Mitch Mcconnell and Kevin McCarthy are Republican stumbling blocks in the Senate and House, respectively, but the true cogs in the Democratic works are Manchin and Sinema. Manchin’s reluctance to accept Biden’s initiatives after repeated entreaties and adjustments validates what I wrote back on February 26, “Which Joe Is President? Biden or Manchin? (https://nosocksneededanymore.blogspot.com/2021/02/which-joe-is-president-biden-or-manchin.html).


For sure, there were statewide issues that sunk Terry McAuliffe’s bid to return to the governor’s mansion of Virginia and Philip Murphy’s nailbiting cling to the keys to New Jersey’s residence of power. The failure of Democrats on a national level to coalesce around meat and potato issues that could improve voters’ lives has left them vulnerable to unending local criticisms, and, just as pointedly, to the belief they do not know how to govern, that they just want to appease strident radical interest groups. 


One, if not two, more states could turn the clock back on progress toward equality, environmentalism and health care. Republican Glenn Youngkin’s boast that he would immediately suspend any teaching of critical race theory in Virginia public schools is particularly disheartening because it was in Virginia in 1619 that the first shipload of African slaves arrived on American soil. And nearly 200 years later the slaveholders of Virginia were in the forefront of breaking up African families by selling off individual slaves to cotton plantations in Deep South states. 


How reactionary will Youngkin be? He is on video privately assuring a supporter he will address restricting abortion rights if he won. Will the Robert E. Lee statue recently removed from downtown Richmond be reinstalled on prominent state property? 


It’s a painful exercise contemplating a return to repressive days of yore. On Facebook a posting fondly recalled 1962, with its lower cost of living. 


While everything is ridiculously less expensive (average rent $110/mo., Harvard tuition $1,520/yr., movie ticket $1, gasoline 27 cents/gal.), what is not included in the nostalgic look-back is quality of life: 


Blacks lived under public Jim Crow laws in the South and covert discrimination in the North; women would have to wait another dozen years to obtain the right to get their own credit cards separate from their husbands’; until 1975 in many states women could be barred from serving on a jury; working women had no pregnancy or maternity leave protection; many states outlawed any form of birth control, even for married couples; interracial marriages were illegal in many states until the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 1967 in Loving v. Virginia the restrictions were unconstitutional (https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/71353/8-things-women-used-be-banned-doing). 


Life may have seen simpler back in 1962, in a “Handmaid’s Tale” dystopian way. There’s no doubt the country is trending toward a more traditional nostalgia. Even in supposedly progressive New York State voters Tuesday harkened to Republican voices and rejected ballot initiatives liberalizing same-day voter registration and allowing anyone to cast an absentee ballot.


An effective, even transformational Biden presidency, rests with Manchin and Sinema finalizing their support of the president’s Build Back Better program. Concurrently, progressive and moderate Democrats in the House must stop their wrangling. 


As the battle over the Affordable Care Act in 2010 showed, compromise legislation is better than no legislation. While they still have majorities in the House and Senate, tenuous as they may be, Democrats must act NOW.

Monday, November 1, 2021

Facebook Language Woes of Its Own Making

Lost in Transliteration: Facebook has many problems, not the least of which is with its translation app. 


An Israeli friend posted a recruitment message in Hebrew for a technology company. Listed were several open positions. All well and good until the final job classification—the Hebrew transliteration of “fashionista.” 

 

The problem? Facebook translated it as “fascist.” 


Just past midnight Sunday I notified Facebook of the egregious app faux pas, but as of 5 pm Monday no correction had been made. Of course, I’ve also notified my friend.


Lost in Translation: Facebook no longer wants to be known as simply a social media company. So, founder/CEO Mark Zuckerberg has changed the corporate name to Meta, signifying a transition to a metaverse, what he says is where the physical and digital worlds come together (please do not expect me to explain it in any deeper way).


Zuckerberg’s Meta has fostered its fair share of ridicule and skepticism, perhaps the most cutting from Israelis, including my friend Karin, who noted, “I think Mark Zuckerberg must have skipped that one Hebrew class when they explained what “Meta” means….Well, for my non Israeli/Jewish friends, “Meta” in Hebrew means - SHE IS DEAD…so good luck with that, Mark    


 

Original Intent: Many of our Founding Fathers surely led contradictory lives. Chief among them—Thomas Jefferson, whose statue will be removed from the New York City Council chambers because he was a slaveholder of more than 600 humans, who even upon his death failed to free most of them. 


This despite his credited authorship of one of the most famous passages in the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent & inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness.” 


Of course, that statement was the result of community editing with other delegates to the Second Continental Congress. 


In Jefferson’s first draft, a handwritten copy of which Gilda and I saw last week in an extraordinary Polonsky Exhibition of “treasures” collected by the New York Public Library (including a first edition Gutenberg Bible and a majestic King James Bible, an original copy of the Bill of Rights and original Winnie-the-Pooh and Friends dolls), the Declaration’s principal author had the following description of the slave trade expunged from the final, adopted transcript: a “cruel war against human nature itself” and “an assemblage of horrors.” 


The Library’s accompanying commentary properly reflects, “Jefferson’s omitted passage allows us a solemn opportunity: to imagine how history might have been different if, from the beginning, the United States had taken a stand against the evils of enslavement.”



Frankensteinian Attack: It being the season of Halloween, it was no surprise that a horde of horror movies, including “Frankenstein,” “Dracula,” and “Phantom of the Opera,” found their way onto home television screens (can’t say “small screens” as in the past, as many, including yours truly, enjoy viewing films on 50-inch plus monitors). 


“Young Frankenstein,” the comedic sendup written by Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder, and directed by the former, was shown Saturday night on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). A few days before watching part of the film, I viewed a 2019 documentary TCM aired on Carl Laemmle, the German-Jewish immigrant who founded Universal Studios in the early 20th century and who rescued many Jews from Nazi Germany during the late 1930s. Among its many notable films Universal concentrated on horror flicks—“Frankenstein”, “Dracula,” “The Mummy,” “The Invisible Man” and their many offshoots, to cite a few titles. 


Deep into the documentary, there was a clip from 1974 of Brooks promoting his then new film on “The Tonight Show.” Brooks used the occasion to once again comically malign my given name. “There was a director many years ago by the name of James Whale who made all those wonderful ‘Frankenstein’ movies,” said Brooks. “He made ‘Frankenstein,’ ‘The Bride of Frankenstein,’ ‘The Son of Frankenstein,’ ‘The House of Frankenstein,’ ‘Frankenstein’s Friend, Murray.’”


Brooks never seems to miss an opportunity to verbally assault my given name (https://nosocksneededanymore.blogspot.com/2009/11/whats-in-name.html). 


 

More Westerns: I was admonished for not including some classic Westerns in my list of favorite oaters. Chief among them, “High Noon,” “The Magnificent Seven,” “3:10 to Yuma” (Van Heflin-Glenn Ford version), “The Shootist,” and the recently released “News of the World.”


Guilty on all counts, though to be honest, while I often rewatch “High Noon” I do not think it is among Gary Cooper’s best. As I wrote to a friend in my defense, “Gary Cooper was anti-violence in several movies—“Friendly Persuasion” and “The Hanging Tree,” to name two—so it was not a reach for him in “High Noon.” I like the movie but not as much as his others like “The Westerner” or “Along Came Jones” where he mixed in some humor in his portrayals.”


 

Monday, October 25, 2021

Western Movies Helped Define America

The mortal shooting of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and the wounding of director Joel Souza on the set of “Rust,” an independent western movie, by Alec Baldwin is a tragedy too profound for words.


Westerns have been part of storytelling cinema since “The Great Train Robbery” was filmed in 1903. The 12 minute flick includes a final scene with a revolver pointed toward and directly fired at the camera, much the same way Baldwin enacted the accidental fatal scene the “Rust” company was shooting (https://youtu.be/SqBNHH6KJyI). 


The western genre has been universally accepted as a stand-in for the American experience, both good and bad. 


My father spent his young adult years in Danzig (Gdansk) when it was a heavily German enclave before the Second World War. I have no doubt he saw American westerns there. 


He loved watching westerns, movies or network shows like “Gunsmoke,” on television. As we approached home at the end of a day visiting family or friends he would serenade my brother, sister and me with a hearty rendition of Gene Autry singing, “Home, Home on the Range.”


I’m still a devotee of westerns. Not in any order but here is a list of westerns you should see if you have not already:


Heart of the West


The Westerner


Shane


Will Penny


Lonely Are the Brave


My Darling Clementine


Fort Apache


She Wore a Yellow Ribbon


The Searchers


Red River


Stagecoach (John Wayne version)


The Rider


The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance


The Ox-Bow Incident


Unforgiven (Burt Lancaster version)


Unforgiven (Clint Eastwood version)


Lonely Are the Brave


Will Penny


Drums Along the Mohawk


Last of the Mohicans (Randolph Scott version)


Last of the Mohicans (Daniel Day Lewis version)


The Gunfighter


Destry Rides Again


Friendly Persuasion


Along Came Jones


The Horse Soldiers


The Gold Rush (watch this one with the kids as it is a Charlie Chaplin silent classic)


Blazing Saddles


Saturday, October 23, 2021

COVID-19 Revealed Loss of National Resolve

I believe every police officer, firefighter, nurse, medical staffer, teacher and any other person has the right to reject vaccination for COVID-19. It is their private, personal right (however ill-advised).


But I more fervently believe governments and private enterprises have the right to require vaccinations for all employees who interface with the public or fellow workers.


Inhibiting the spread of a communicable disease is a bulwark of social behavior, particularly when vaccinations have proven to be effective and safe. It is an obligation incumbent upon all levels of government and even private enterprise to enforce that trumps personal rights. 


Rather than safeguarding the people they have sworn to protect and serve, anti-vaxx first responders are endangering the public, first by not getting vaccinated and then, if they walk off the job, making the rest of us more vulnerable to criminal and life-threatening activities.


Medical professionals, ostensibly, have chosen their vocation because they want to save lives, heal the sick or infirm, and “do no harm.” Exposing patients and their families is not consistent with that ethos. 


My sister reposted the following applicable Facebook note from Jeff Tiedrich: “holy f’ing s’t, vaccine mandates are causing teachers who don’t believe in science to quit, nurses who don’t believe in medicine to quit, and cops who don’t believe in public safety to quit. I’m failing to see the downside to this.”


Surely there are many with deeply felt beliefs who disdain any type of vaccine. About 10% of families do not vaccinate their children against measles, mumps and rubella. That number, however, is dwarfed by the percentage of people refusing to be COVID-19 vaccinated. 


It is hard to dismiss the belief that for many anti-vaxxers their stance has a more political than scientific or religious foundation. There are those who would refuse vaccines even if they are mandated. Not because they have a medical reason. Just because. Be it a conspiracy theory. Or an erroneous belief their freedom is being compromised. 


For the vaxx-resisters, might the solution be relocation to a COVID enterprise zone? Much like the internment camps set up for Japanese Americans during World War II, these camps could become home and workplace for refuseniks.


I’m just spitballing, of course, but if government can order mandatory evacuations to protect residents from encroaching fires, hurricanes and other natural disasters, why can’t mandatory vaccinations and mask orders be issued? Vaccinations and masks save not only the lives of those who get the shots and cover up, they also help reduce the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic.


COVID-19 has exposed us to more than just an insidious germ that can kill. It has revealed a failure of national resolve, an absence of shared purpose. Containing and eliminating COVID-19 should have been a national quest, much like the eradication of polio was. Instead, it has devolved into partisan rancor and deception. 


Abetted by Internet falsehoods, critics have undermined the legitimacy of vaccines. Respect for authority has been diminished. Even the pope had his advocacy of vaccines challenged by a prominent member of his flock.  


The message from the archbishop of the U.S. military that Catholic service personnel could claim a religious exemption from the Pentagon’s vaccination mandate is not just wrong, it is insubordinate to the explicit exhortation of Pope Francis to get vaccinated (https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2021/10/13/archbishop-catholic-troops-vaccine-conscience/).


The tragedy for Trumpsters is that a president who championed the development of vaccines in record time wasted an opportunity to be a savior of national, even international, health. 


COVID-19 was not of his making, but Donald Trump resisted any hint that under his time in office America would be invaded by a pathogen or would have to resort to extraordinary means to fight its spread. 


So he downplayed the benefits of testing and masking. He promised instantaneous relief once the weather warmed. He suggested bizarre, even dangerous, treatments. He privately got vaccinated instead of publicly demonstrating their utility. 


Bottom line—even with hundreds of thousands of deaths and related illnesses, Trump could have won reelection if he had acted like a war time president instead of a frighted autocrat. 


Back to Spitballing: Of course I was just kidding about internment camps, but a recent poll revealed a more disturbing openness to a dramatic resolution to our national divide. 


The survey by the University of Virginia’s Center for Politics found “52% of Trump voters at least somewhat agree with the statement: ‘The situation is such that I would favor [Blue/Red] states seceding from the union to form their own separate country.’ Twenty-five percent of Trump voters strongly agreed. 


Forty-one percent of voters who favored Joe Biden at least somewhat agreed; 18% rated their agreement as strong. 


A partition of the United States into blue and red countries is evocative of the mass population shifts at the creation of independent Muslim Pakistan and secular but largely Hindu with a large Muslim minority India in 1947. Religious strife prompted the separation. Tension has never eased between the countries.


As dailymail.com reported, the foundation of an American partition rests on the belief that the other side is unAmerican: “Over 75% of voters on both sides agreed with the statement: ‘I believe that Americans who strongly support the [OPP_PARTY] have become a clear and present danger to the American way of life.’ Seventy-five percent of Biden voters at least somewhat agreed with the statement, as did 78% of Trump voters.” 


Click on the link to the article and table with more details on the widening gap of national unity: https://mol.im/a/10050039.


Beyond a COVID-19 vaccine, Americans need a dose of brotherly love. 

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Extra! Extra! Read About Print Journalism Films

Fact or fiction based loosely, at times closely, on facts?


That was the choice video viewers had Monday night as PBS ran part one of its two-part documentary of newspaper publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst, while TCM counter-programmed with “Citizen Kane,” the Orson Welles fictionalized masterpiece structured around Hearst’s larger-than-life life (for the record, I caught short bursts of both, content I was recording PBS and that I had seen “Citizen Kane” countless times).


As a former newspaper reporter and magazine editor I am partial to movies with a print journalism focus (a subsequent list will come for electronic media). Herewith are my favorites:


Libeled Lady


Citizen Kane


Gentleman’s Agreement


The Front Page


His Girl Friday


All the President’s Men


The Life of Emile Zola


Deadline-USA 


Five Star Final


The Paper


Ace in the Hole


Spotlight


The Devil Wore Prada


It happened One Night


Call Northside 777


I Want To Live!

Sunday, September 26, 2021

America Is a Story of Immigrants

As we grapple and grieve over the migrant crisis across our Southern border it is important to remember we are a nation of immigrants. From among the “tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to be free” have sprouted scientists and industrialists, politicians and, yes,  gangsters, as well as artists and teachers, and everyday workers, the men and women who toil to feed us, clothe us, build and clean our homes, drive us to work and play, care for our sick, infirm and elderly.


Here are my favorite movies dealing with immigrants as they struggle to gain acceptance and perspective on a new culture in their adopted land while forging a new life for their families that retains the traditions of their original homelands.


I Remember Mama


The Godfather 


Black Fury


In America


Exodus


Our Vines Have Tender Grapes


An American Tail


Gangs of New York


America America


Moscow on the Hudson


Minari


Far and Away


Once Upon a Time in America


Sallah Shabati


Brooklyn


A Most Violent Year


Avalon


Bend It Like Beckham


Hester Street


Frozen River


The Visitor


The Joy Luck Club


My Big Fat Greek Wedding