Traveling Together

Brooklyn borough president Marty Markowitz caught flak, and a $20,000 fine from New York City’s Conflicts of Interest Board, for taking his wife, Jamie, on three overseas trips paid for by outside entities. Though it appears he technically violated the law, Markowitz’s argument that his wife was an asset on two trips to Turkey and one to The Netherlands resonates with me, and not just because I, too, am a Brooklyn native.

From my very first year as a business journalist I took Gilda (and subsequently our young children) along on as many multi-day conference trips as possible. Building rapport with customers, clients and sources is among the most important part of any relationship. A spouse is an invaluable asset in forging those ties.

Gilda’s first trip with me was to New Orleans for a restaurant conference produced by the trade newspaper I worked on. She wound up seeing more of the Big Easy than I did, visiting a plantation outside the city as well as the Garden District and a warehouse where the floats used in the Mardi Gras parade were stored. The pattern of her seeing the sights, or just lounging by the pool, while I worked the conference sessions repeated itself on subsequent convention visits. More importantly, the contacts she made with the spouses of retailers and suppliers turned into introductions to company executives during cocktail receptions and dinners I would have had difficulty making.

We started taking our children with us when Dan was just two. At the Del Coronado Hotel outside San Diego, he learned to say “croissant,” as every morning he and Gilda would breakfast on the French pastry while dining on the balcony outside our room. One of my favorite pictures has me wearing a straw cowboy hat, plaid shirt and jeans while carrying Ellie, her head in a bandana, asleep on my shoulder during a cocktail reception during a conference at the Arizona Biltmore in Phoenix when she was barely one.

The kids traveled with us through elementary school. Most of these excursions were during the school year. Gilda and I earned a deserved reputation as parents who blithely took their children on trips without caring what classes they missed. Guilty, with the explanation that our credo was they would learn long division two weeks later, but the educational experience of seeing different parts of our country, and one time even Japan, far outweighed any classroom instruction they might have received.

I was fortunate to work for a company that appreciated the value a spouse brings to the business environment. After I became a chief editor, my employer footed the bill for Gilda’s presence at many of the conferences I attended. Perhaps business has become less intimate (though I doubt successful people would say that), but I never understood why more executives didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to bond in a more personal way with their contacts at other companies. Yes, more spouses had jobs of their own and perhaps could not get away; not everyone could be as cavalier as we were about their kids missing school.

The bottom line for me, however, was the chance to share with Gilda the thrill of seeing a new environment—San Antonio, Marco Island, Tokyo, New Orleans, Oakland, Nashville, Dallas, Kyoto, Maui, Luxembourg, Strasbourg, Stratford-on-Avon, Brussels, Boca Raton, Palm Beach, Paris, Prague, Phoenix, Scottsdale—venues we might never have experienced together.