Baseball and religious services at synagogues have long shared a common complaint—they last waaaay too long. Though congregations generally strive to complete their Saturday benedictions by noon, it is not uncommon for prayers to continue for another quarter hour or more, extending to more than tree hours a service that often starts at 9 or 9:30 am. Unlike almost all other team sports that end when the clock ticks down to zero, baseball is timeless. However long it would take to play nine innings, barring extra frames, a game of baseball keeps diehards on their fannies, at the stadium or at home, for well over three hours.
No longer, at least as pertains to baseball. Under the direction of Commissioner Rob Manfred, baseball this year has imposed time limitations on pitchers and batters. Clocks have been placed in all ballparks displaying how long they may stall between pitches before a penalty is assessed (a strike if a batter is late, a ball if a pitcher delays.) The result: On average, games are 31 minutes shorter than a year ago.
It’s now a pleasure watching a Yankees game. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Watching the Yankees play, especially during Aaron Judge’s injury absence, is painful given their high salaries and inability to play up to the past performance numbers on the backs of their baseball cards.
Taking a cue from baseball, Gary Rosenblatt, the former editor and publisher of The Jewish Week of New York (and whose son played with me on my temple’s softball team), has proposed a way to shorten services.
“Sermons will be limited to 13 minutes, starting with the rabbis’ typical opening line, ‘A few words before I begin,’ and ending with, ‘And let us say, Amen,’” Rosenblatt suggests, adding that a “large Sermon Clock will be placed on the Ark, in a highly visible spot behind the rabbi’s lectern, and will count down the allotted minutes and seconds.” (For a more detailed accounting of his proposal, click here: https://forward.com/culture/550728/synagogues-services-mlb-pitch-clock-gary-rosenblatt-satire/
The idea that rabbis might voluntarily subscribe to such a stricture on their devotion to Scripture is not as revolutionary as one might think. Some 30 years ago when Gilda and I were making the rounds of area synagogues as we accompanied our son to his friends’ bar and bat mitzvahs, we were stunned when Rabbi Mel Sirner of Temple Beth El of New Rochelle summarily ended his sermon in mid thought when he noticed he had exceeded his self-imposed 15 minute time limit. To be completed at another time, Rabbi Sirner advised the congregation.
More recently, the Jewish Theological Seminary, which trains prospective Conservative rabbis, seems to emphasize 15 minute sermons among its students. That’s fine with me, though cutting down sermon time would also, in most instances, cut down on my nap time (yes, I often fall asleep when the rabbi is speaking). I know that is inappropriate but think of it this way—a recent study by a University College London doctor reported in The Daily Mail “suggests people who habitually nap during the day have a larger brain volume, meaning their brain may shrink less over time” (https://mol.im/a/12210915).
I’m caught between my devotion to religion and my health.
