Of Castles, Kings, Churches and Wizards

I don’t go to church regularly. I am, after all, Jewish. But I find myself in churches, mostly Catholic ones built half a millennia or more ago, whenever I travel through Europe.  

Last week in Normandy, France, Gilda and I entered some remarkable spiritual edifices. Given their size and majesty, and the sheer engineering accomplishment of their construction, it is understandable how Medieval men and women were transfixed into believing miracles could indeed happen. A religion that started in a manger and matriculated into magnificent stone cathedrals could not be anything but authentic to illiterate serfs and even noblemen.

Consider the abbey atop Mount Saint Michel. Situated on an island with fewer than 50 current residents, the abbey took hundreds of years to build. It is not beautiful, as the Cathedral Notre Dame in nearby Bayeux is. Rather, it is an engineering marvel, rising as it does above a rocky fortress. The Bayeux Cathedral, as well, was a labor of hundreds of years, but it aligns more with the architecture and look of numerous Norman-Romanesque churches in towns and cities one can see throughout the countryside.

The Bayeux Cathedral would be worth a visit in its own right. But for years it garnered fame from a cherished historical artifact, the Bayeux Tapestry. In truth, the nearly 70 yard long creation is an embroidery, but let’s not quibble over semantics. The tapestry tells the story of the Norman invasion of England in 1066.

Did you ever wonder why William the Conqueror invaded England? Was it merely to seize control of another country? Actually, according to the way the Normans tell it, it was to claim his rightful inheritance. You see, on his deathbed Edward the Confessor, king of England, having no sons, bequeathed his kingdom to a distant cousin, the Duke of Normandy, known then as William the Bastard for he truly was illegitimately born. William was a descendant of Rollo, a Viking warrior chief familiar, by name at least, to fans of the cable series Vikings. Rollo had become part of the French ruling class.

William believed he obtained agreement for his kingship from Harold, an English earl of Anglo-Saxon heritage. But upon Edward’s death Harold assumed the crown. To avenge the double-cross and take what he thought was rightfully his, William invaded England. Harold might well have beaten him at Hastings had he not just hurried down from killing off another invading pretender to the throne, Harald Hardrada, king of Norway, at Stamford Bridge, several hundred miles to the north of Hastings. The weary Harold and his forces were routed, Harold dying from ordinary wounds or, as legend has it, from an arrow piercing an eye as depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry.

Subsequently, William was known as the conqueror. His Norman descendants ruled for hundreds of years, much to the displeasure and misfortune of the Anglo-Saxon populace, we have been told for years (thus the Robin Hood myth. Indeed, King Richard the Lionheart, a great, great grandson of William the Conqueror, spent just a few weeks in England as king, preferring his French lands).

As churches go, the structure in the town square of Sainte-Mere-Eglise has nothing to distinguish it. Except for its dramatic part in the D-Day invasion. The Allies deemed it important to seal off the town as it was located on an important road the Nazis could have used to reinforce their defensive positions. Paratroopers descended on the town in the early morning hours of June 6, 1944.

One of them, John Steele, landed on a church spire. He could not free his parachute so he wound up observing the ensuring battle for several hours, all the while pretending to be dead. He eventually was captured by the Germans, from whom he later escaped and rejoined his division. For those who have seen the movie The Longest Day, Steele was portrayed by Red Buttons.

To convey his personal story, and commemorate what the town believes is its place in history as the first community liberated in France, a parachute with a dummy dressed as a soldier is suspended from a church spire facing the town square. It’s a kitschy touch. But it is historical fiction as Steele’s parachute got caught on a spire facing a side street. That would not have made for good cinema so The Longest Day, ahem, took liberties with reality. As do the good citizens of Sainte-Mere-Eglise.

The Longest Day was not the only Hollywood reference during Gilda’s and my trip. Before Normandy we spent a week in northern England and southern Scotland. Scone Palace near Perth, Scotland, is the historic location where 38 kings of Scotland were crowned sitting on a high-backed wooden chair atop the Stone of Scone (pronounced “Scoon”). It has also been used for centuries by British royalty, the last time being for Queen Elizabeth II’s investiture in 1953.

For more than 400 years Scone Palace has been the ancestral home of the Murray family, successive Earls of Mansfield since 1776. The first Earl of Mansfield, William Murray, was Lord Chief Justice of England who in 1783 issued a ruling that began the process that led to the end of slavery in Britain.

As important as that action was, Hollywood found the life of his niece, Dido Elizabeth Belle Lindsay, more appealing. It filmed her life story, with liberties, in Belle, released in 2013 (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belle_(2013_film)#Plot). Dido was the daughter of an enslaved African woman in the West Indies and Captain Sir John Lindsay, a Royal Navy officer. Lindsay entrusts her to Murray and his wife to raise, as they were doing with another great-niece, Lady Elizabeth Murray. When the two cousins matured they sat for an oil portrait by David Martin. The painting is displayed at Scone Palace. 

Finally (only because this posting is already long), we visited Hogwarts Castle. Or more precisely, Alnwick Castle in Northumberland, England, where the 12th Duke of Northumberland and his family live from November through April, after which tourists invade en masse for the castle, first built after the Norman conquest, is more than just the manifestation of what a castle should look like. Alnwick Castle’s alter ego is that of Hogwarts, the wizardry school attended by Harry Potter.

During our visit a group of enterprising and clearly Potter-struck fans were astride broomsticks attempting to fly into a game of quidditch. Tours of the interior and exterior of the castle were fascinating. I will leave you with one amusing tidbit: The kitchen in olden times was far removed from the main dining hall. They were connected by tunnel. Servants were required to whistle the whole time they transported the food. Guess why?

It had nothing to do with safety. Rather, it was to insure none of the duke’s food was lifted off the platters and eaten along the way. Try whistling with your mouth full. Can’t be done.

Bible Studio Is Not Bible Study

It's no secret to loyal readers of this blog—I prefer movies to books. From my childhood days I've been a fan of biblical-themed films. Counting last week’s airing of The Ten Commandments, I must have seen that film at least 30 times. Probably lots more. 

Maybe my fascination with bible movies harks back to my father telling me bible stories before bedtime. He gave a particularly emotive rendition of the Samson and Delilah story. The movie version of the strongman and the seductress, starring Victor Mature and Hedy Lamarr, was among the first I recall seeing.

I was non-sectarian in my devotion to bible films. Demetrius and the Gladiator, also starring Mature, Androcles and the Lion (Mature, once again), The Robe (with you know who, once more), Quo Vadis,  David and Bathsheba, Barabbas, Ben Hur—I was all in on those 1950s-early 1960s epics, mostly because The Million Dollar Movie on WOR-TV Channel 9 in New York City played them a week at a time, over and over. I drew the line at King of Kings and other Jesus bio-pics, though I did enjoy Jesus Christ Superstar when the musical debuted in 1970.

All this by way of saying I was less than enthralled by Noah, Darren Aronofsky’s treatment of the Flood. One of the things you want to see in any bible film is creative treatment of the back story, how the director fills in missing details, what Jewish scholars call midrash. What you don't want to see are significant contradictions to the accepted text. Thus, as absurd as it was to see rock people (fallen angels) help Noah against the onslaught of an evil mob, it was an imaginative interpretation of the Bible’s suggestion of giants living during those times, though a little too derivative, in my mind, to the tree-like Ents that aid the hobbits Merry and Pippin in The Lord of the Rings.

The Bible several times states the three wives of Noah's sons boarded the ark, yet Aronofsky chose to have only one daughter-in-law, Shem’s wife, in his retelling. How the world would be repopulated with only one woman of child-bearing age is solved(?) by having her deliver twin girls. Aronofsky would have us believe uncles Ham and Japheth will just have to wait until their nieces’ puberty arrive to fulfill god’s directive to be fruitful and multiply.

I also had difficulty swallowing the notion of a stowaway on the ark. Sure, it made for a more interesting plot line, but it was an uncalled for reach. 

I did like the creative way Noah kept the animals from feasting on each other, by putting them to sleep. But I was humorously amazed to see biblical man and woman dressed to the nines. Their boots could have come from Steve Madden, their leather, form-fitting togs from Beged Or, the once formidable Israeli leather clothing maker. 

And who knew the ancients had real firepower. Forget swords, spears, bows and arrows. Tubal Cain had the equivalent of a rocket propelled grenade launcher.

I'm not alone in dismissing the choices made by Aronofsky. My friend Noah R., no relation to Noah of the Bible, had this to say:

“Due to my name, I was overwhelmed by invitations to see the movie ‘Noah’, and we finally succumbed. I understand what the director was trying to do to reconcile the Biblical narrative with the possible historical basis, but the "stone giants" [who reminded me of the employees of the contractor who put-on a new roof for us a couple of years ago] and watching Hermione Granger (Emma Watson from the Harry Potter movies) give birth to Noah's grandchildren detracted greatly from the experience.  Furthermore, you and your beard are MUCH better-looking than Russell Crowe.

“It also got me thinking about who the director might have cast as Noah’s other two daughters-in-law to complement Hermione Granger and provide the diversity needed for future generations of mankind/womankind.

“Perhaps Kerry Washington and Ziyi Zhang?  I also think that Lindsay Lohan would have been a more interesting daughter-in-law than Emma Watson.  [And if Lindsay had failed to show-up for the sailing of the ark, as was the case with her court appearances, well.....]”

But here’s my real bottom line: There are too many people out there who profess belief that the Bible is sacred, that it really is the word of god. Yet too many of those people have not read the Bible and are ignorant of simple facts. They don’t know, for example, that Jesus was born and died a Jew. They don’t know that men, not a higher authority or power, chose what to include in, and exclude from, the Bible based on their own prejudices. They gloss over contradictions in the text. 

So, a movie that has so much fable simply complicates an already hard-to-believe text. Let’s remember the Bible says Noah was 600 years old when the deluge began, that he lived another 350 years after the waters abated. Russell Crowe hardly looked a day over 50. 

A Drumbeat of Personal Tie-ins

Lots of personal tie-in stuff to write about today:

Not sure how proud I should be of this item, but the lead lawyer who argued in the U.S. Supreme Court Wednesday against upholding the University of Texas’ affirmative action guidelines for admission is a cousin on my father’s side of the family. Bert Rein is a second or third cousin (I can never figure out how you figure out cousin relationships beyond first cousins). Bert’s father, Moe, was my father’s first cousin. They grew up in the same small Polish town, Ottynia. 

Bert’s a founding partner of the well-connected Washington law firm of Wiley Rein LLP. Sad to say, he’s pretty conservative. He often advocates for business interests. Though he’s previously appeared before the Supreme justices, it’s no small matter to have our family represented before the nation’s highest court. 

The Real Thing: Speaking of my father, I’ve written before about his factory on lower Broadway. One of the pleasures of visiting him there was the chance to raid the Coca-Cola vending machine. It was fire-engine red. A favorite job was filling it up. I’d stick the key into the lock on the right side of the refrigerator-sized machine and pull back the heavy door to reveal vertical serpentine rows of grey tubes ready for replenishment. My reward usually was a cold one. Often, at the end of the day, my father would hand out sodas to his workers. The rest of the time, for 10¢, you’d push down on a brushed steel lever, open a door on the left front of the machine and pull out a cold 6.5 oz. glass bottle of Coke. 

Sadly, I read Wednesday the last manufacturer of 6.5 oz. returnable bottles has stopped production http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_289563/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=0ZDf8lmB. Not sure what ever happened to that old Coke machine. My brother and I, maybe my sister as well, always regret we didn’t salvage it when our father closed down his factory in the 1980s.

The Survey Says: Among the many polls being cited in this nail-biting electoral season is one from America’s Research Group. For many years I worked with ARG and its founder, C. Britt Beemer. My magazine had been using several research firms to track consumer spending and lifestyle trends when Britt sent me an unsolicited offer I could hardly refuse. He said he’d provide free research. I didn’t chuck the other research firms, but I did incorporate ARG into a meaningful part of our coverage of the retail industry. 

Speaking of polls, one of the weirder ones is taking place daily at 7-Eleven stores throughout the country. As it has since the 2000 presidential election, the convenience store chain has given customers a choice of self-service coffee cups imprinted with the names of the two major party candidates. It also color codes the cups, blue for Democrat, red for Republican. Undecided voters can pour their java into plain cups. Don’t discount this poll—it’s picked the winner every time.

To date, Barack Obama is swamping Mitt Romney by a 60-40 margin. In Ohio, after undecideds are removed from the count, Obama leads 57-43.

There might be an explanation as to why the 7-Eleven coffee cup poll is not as close as almost all other national surveys. “There’s a bias on 7-Eleven because their entire poll has a margin of error of plus or minus Mormons can’t drink coffee,” according to Stephen Colbert. 

Magic and Mystique: There may be some truth to the claim Yankee Stadium is enveloped by some supernatural force, especially after Raul Ibanez, pinch-hitting for Alex Rodriguez no less, stroked a ninth inning home run to tie Wednesday night’s game and then capped that feat by blasting a game winning four-bagger in the 12th. Everyone who witnessed his extraordinary heroics was stunned, doubly stunned. Those weren’t cheap, short-porch Yankee Stadium shots. The first one was estimated to have traveled 403 feet; the game winner 390 feet. 

Was it magic? Am I the only one who sees the resemblance between Ibanez and Voldemort as portrayed by Ralph Fiennes in the Harry Potter movies? Could they have been brothers separated at birth? Is Ibanez really a wizard? Yankee fans and muggles the world over don’t really care. We just want Ibanez to continue his magical streak, and hope it is contagious to the rest of the team.

By the way, I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you loyal readers that I semi-predicted Ibanez’s ride to the rescue. I wrote he would pinch-hit for Nick Swisher, but as it happened, Swisher was scheduled to be the fifth batter in the bottom of the ninth. Manager Joe Girardi realized he might not get a chance to use Ibanez if A-Rod and then Cano made out to end the game, so it was pull Rodriguez or let the opportunity pass by. 

Further by the way, over post-tennis pizza I actually suggested to a friend Ibanez might hit for A-Rod. He thought I was crazy but sent me a congratulatory e-mail this morning.