All That Matters

Partial Success: No doubt you’ve been waiting all weekend to find out if the birds liked the Multi-Grain Cheerios (if not, skip down to the next bold-faced item).

It’s finally safe to report late Sunday afternoon, the answer is, Yes. Not an unqualified yes. They did show a preference for regular bird food mixed in with the Cheerios, but when the seed was all exhausted they devoured those crushed up round cereal treats.

Another grand experiment had a more disappointing conclusion. Standing at my desk is not working out. Though hailed as a healthy alternative to sitting, I found my legs, knees and feet couldn't tolerate it. Not even standing on a cushioned pad relieved the pain. Ah well, at least I tried...


Take That: Perhaps the most overused, often unnecessary, word in the English language is “that.” Here’s a little writing tip—any time you use “that” in a sentence, re-read it to determine if “that” is truly required. More times than not, it probably isn’t.

As an example, here’s a sentence from my last blog, shown first with “that” in italics: “I’ve discovered that even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed.”

Now the sans-”that” printed version: “I’ve discovered even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed.”

See, no difference in meaning. But it’s shorter and flows better.

Journalists are trained (at least they were when I learned the trade) to use the fewest words to convey the most meaning. Most writing can be trimmed by a good one-third of the original text while remaining lucid and cogent. A good way to self-train is to impose a word count. It’ll be a reversal of grade school when you had to write a report of at least 300 words and found yourself struggling and repeating phrases to total the teacher’s quota.

Herman Cain, the former head of Godfather’s Pizza and current Republican presidential hopeful, has said as president he would refuse to sign any bill longer than three pages. An extreme position, no doubt, given the complexity of our government, but he’s emphasizing the need to smooth out the legislative process and reduce all the exceptions and ride-ons added to many pieces of legislation.


Absence Noted: O Captain! My Captain! Where Was the Captain?

It was Derek Jeter’s 37th birthday today.

It was the 65th annual Old Timers’ Day at Yankee Stadium today, marking the first-time return in pinstripes of Bernie Williams, Lou Piniella and Mr. Torre, as Jeter called Joe Torre, his former Yankee skipper. The NY Yankees also honored Gene Monahan, retiring at the end of this season as their trainer after 49 years of service with the club, including many a day over the last 16 years spent keeping Jeter physically able to play despite injuries.

Jeter currently is idling on the 15-day disabled list. Well, not really idling. I meant he wasn’t playing actual games. He’s rehabbing down in Tampa, reportedly running on a treadmill in water today to strengthen his strained calf.

I don’t mean to be petty, but couldn’t Jeter have worked out really early and flown up to the Bronx to show respect to the Yankee greats, and some not so great, who came for Old Timers’ Day? Didn’t he owe it to Monahan to be physically in the ballpark for him? Yes, it would have been frustrating not being able to take the field, but he’s the Yankee captain. He should have been at Yankee Stadium, and not, for those of us who watched the proceedings on TV, just in commercials. Sorry, Derek, but in this case, you’ve lost your edge.