Winter Is Officially Over; Men Still Behave Badly

The calendar proclaimed it happened March 20, but I declare today the official end of winter and the beginning of spring. Today marks the day I ran the motor dry in my snowblower and stored it away in the shed, took out Gilda’s gardening wheelbarrow and removed the cozies from two of our outdoor faucets. 

Yes, spring was definitely in the air today, sunny with almost no breeze. I even fed the birds, giving them leftover Passover-version Cheerios (they’re really vile tasting, but the birds don’t seem to mind), and crunched up whole wheat matzah. D’ya think it will have the same binding effect on the birds? 

Is it a surprise to anyone that men behave badly? Specifically, men with authority who coach athletic teams and other groups where discipline is demanded. 

The abusive behavior of Rutgers men’s basketball coach Mike Rice toward his players led to his dismissal Thursday, days after a series of videos surfaced of him taunting his players with homophobic slurs, hitting them at close range with thrown basketballs, kicking them and otherwise manhandling them. Sadly, it wasn’t the first nor will it be the last time a coach acts badly. It happens in almost all sports.

But as I tuned into the last few minutes of a segment on WNYC’s Brian Lehrer Show today, I was intrigued by the comments a sportswriter guest made. Rice’s behavior toward these collegiate athletes was no worse than they might have experienced had they been new soldiers undergoing basic training in the Marines or Army. I am in no way trying to justify Rice’s actions. But it seems we surely have reached a point where college sports have stepped over a line that separates it from the rest of our society. Sports have transcended the educational purpose of higher education. I’m not sure we will ever rebalance our priorities, not when athletics produces oodles and oodles of dollars for universities, nor when the commander-in-chief’s picks for March Madness command as much if not more air time than wars in the Mid-East or hunger in America.

As if to reinforce that thought about war in Iraq and Afghanistan, Lehrer noted the intense interest in the compound leg fracture sustained by Louisville’s Kevin Ware during a game against Duke last weekend. Many people want to watch the video of the mishap. Yet, Lehrer pointed out, as gruesome as the injury was, it was not as bad as what happens every day in war zones, to civilians and to military personnel. We are shielded from viewing those traumas. The wars, it seems, are not for public consumption.

  

All That Matters

Partial Success: No doubt you’ve been waiting all weekend to find out if the birds liked the Multi-Grain Cheerios (if not, skip down to the next bold-faced item).

It’s finally safe to report late Sunday afternoon, the answer is, Yes. Not an unqualified yes. They did show a preference for regular bird food mixed in with the Cheerios, but when the seed was all exhausted they devoured those crushed up round cereal treats.

Another grand experiment had a more disappointing conclusion. Standing at my desk is not working out. Though hailed as a healthy alternative to sitting, I found my legs, knees and feet couldn't tolerate it. Not even standing on a cushioned pad relieved the pain. Ah well, at least I tried...


Take That: Perhaps the most overused, often unnecessary, word in the English language is “that.” Here’s a little writing tip—any time you use “that” in a sentence, re-read it to determine if “that” is truly required. More times than not, it probably isn’t.

As an example, here’s a sentence from my last blog, shown first with “that” in italics: “I’ve discovered that even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed.”

Now the sans-”that” printed version: “I’ve discovered even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed.”

See, no difference in meaning. But it’s shorter and flows better.

Journalists are trained (at least they were when I learned the trade) to use the fewest words to convey the most meaning. Most writing can be trimmed by a good one-third of the original text while remaining lucid and cogent. A good way to self-train is to impose a word count. It’ll be a reversal of grade school when you had to write a report of at least 300 words and found yourself struggling and repeating phrases to total the teacher’s quota.

Herman Cain, the former head of Godfather’s Pizza and current Republican presidential hopeful, has said as president he would refuse to sign any bill longer than three pages. An extreme position, no doubt, given the complexity of our government, but he’s emphasizing the need to smooth out the legislative process and reduce all the exceptions and ride-ons added to many pieces of legislation.


Absence Noted: O Captain! My Captain! Where Was the Captain?

It was Derek Jeter’s 37th birthday today.

It was the 65th annual Old Timers’ Day at Yankee Stadium today, marking the first-time return in pinstripes of Bernie Williams, Lou Piniella and Mr. Torre, as Jeter called Joe Torre, his former Yankee skipper. The NY Yankees also honored Gene Monahan, retiring at the end of this season as their trainer after 49 years of service with the club, including many a day over the last 16 years spent keeping Jeter physically able to play despite injuries.

Jeter currently is idling on the 15-day disabled list. Well, not really idling. I meant he wasn’t playing actual games. He’s rehabbing down in Tampa, reportedly running on a treadmill in water today to strengthen his strained calf.

I don’t mean to be petty, but couldn’t Jeter have worked out really early and flown up to the Bronx to show respect to the Yankee greats, and some not so great, who came for Old Timers’ Day? Didn’t he owe it to Monahan to be physically in the ballpark for him? Yes, it would have been frustrating not being able to take the field, but he’s the Yankee captain. He should have been at Yankee Stadium, and not, for those of us who watched the proceedings on TV, just in commercials. Sorry, Derek, but in this case, you’ve lost your edge.

All That Matters

Partial Success: No doubt you’ve been waiting all weekend to find out if the birds liked the Multi-Grain Cheerios (if not, skip down to the next bold-faced item).

It’s finally safe to report late Sunday afternoon, the answer is, Yes. Not an unqualified yes. They did show a preference for regular bird food mixed in with the Cheerios, but when the seed was all exhausted they devoured those crushed up round cereal treats.


Take That: Perhaps the most overused, often unnecessary, word in the English language is “that.” Here’s a little writing tip—any time you use “that” in a sentence, re-read it to determine if “that” is truly required. More times than not, it probably isn’t.

As an example, here’s a sentence from my last blog, shown first with “that” in italics: “I’ve discovered that even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed.”

Now the sans-”that” printed version: “I’ve discovered even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed.”

See, no difference in meaning. But it’s shorter and flows better.

Journalists are trained (at least they were when I learned the trade) to use the fewest words to convey the most meaning. Most writing can be trimmed by a good one-third of the original text while remaining lucid and cogent. A good way to self-train is to impose a word count. It’ll be a reversal of grade school when you had to write a report of at least 300 words and found yourself struggling and repeating phrases to total the teacher’s quota.

Herman Cain, the former head of Godfather’s Pizza and current Republican presidential hopeful, has said as president he would refuse to sign any bill longer than three pages. An extreme position, no doubt, given the complexity of our government, but he’s emphasizing the need to smooth out the legislative process and reduce all the exceptions and ride-ons added to many pieces of legislation.


Absence Noted: O Captain! My Captain! Where Was the Captain?

It was Derek Jeter’s 37th birthday today.

It was the 65th annual Old Timers’ Day at Yankee Stadium today, marking the first-time return in pinstripes of Bernie Williams, Lou Piniella and Mr. Torre, as Jeter called Joe Torre, his former Yankee skipper. The NY Yankees also honored Gene Monahan, retiring at the end of this season as their trainer after 49 years of service with the club, including many a day over the last 16 years spent keeping Jeter physically able to play despite injuries.

Jeter currently is idling on the 15-day disabled list. Well, not really idling. I meant he wasn’t playing actual games. He’s rehabbing down in Tampa, reportedly running on a treadmill in water today to strengthen his strained calf.

I don’t mean to be petty, but couldn’t Jeter have worked out really early and flown up to the Bronx to show respect to the Yankee greats, and some not so great, who came for Old Timers’ Day? Didn’t he owe it to Monahan to be physically in the ballpark for him? Yes, it would have been frustrating not being able to take the field, but he’s the Yankee captain. He should have been at Yankee Stadium, and not, for those of us who watched the proceedings on TV, just in commercials. Sorry, Derek, but in this case, you’ve lost your edge.

Oy, Have I Got Tsuris

Cheerios Are for the Birds: My blood sugar levels have been trending up so it’s time to eliminate as many sweet items as possible from my diet. That means the Multi-Grain Cheerios with 6 grams of sugar are out, regular Cheerios with just 1 gram are back in the cupboard. Only problem is, what do I do with an almost full Costco-sized box of Multi-Grain Cheerios?

The solution has been chirping away all day. The birds have previously shown they’ll eat matzoh, dried bagels and challah, even hard Chinese noodles, so I’m guessing they won’t mind bulking up on M-G Cheerios. They really are beggars, and you know the old saying about how choosy beggars can afford to be. I’ve discovered even the cheapest brand of bird food attracts as many aviators as the more expensive seed. So it’s crushed M-G Cheerios for all, and if the General Mills ad campaign is to be believed, my birds will have lower cholesterol in a matter of days. Of course, their sugar levels will soar as high as they can fly, but the birds get more exercise than I do, so that will counteract the effects of all that added sugar in their diet.


Tsuris Along the Souris: I’ll start feeding them the M-G Cheerios as soon as the lake under their bird feeders recedes. Every time we get a drenching downpour, as we did earlier today, our back and side yards become lakes. We’ve added dry wells for better drainage but they just became another item on the money pit of home ownership. Luckily we French-drained our basement and have a very good sump pump system so we stay dry inside. But the lakes keep us on our toes, wondering if it will ever rain long and hard enough for the water to lap against the first floor of the house.

It’s nothing, for sure, like what the residents of Minot, ND, are going through with the flooding of the Souris River. While watching news reports of their plight, I was struck by the similarity of the pronunciation of the river Souris name to a Yiddish word, tsuris, which means troubles, worries, problems. There’s little doubt the people of Minot have lots of tsuris from the Souris.


Case Closed: The federal government wants cigarette companies to include graphic pictures of the dangers of smoking on each pack of killers. The hope is smokers will see the effects of inhaling and stop, or at least reduce, their self-destructive acts.

My mother was a chain smoker. She even smoked in the hospital, even while recuperating from congestive heart failure, with an oxygen hose draped around her neck. It amazed us she could wangle, or bribe, a cigarette from the hospital staff. Smoking contributed to her partial dementia, exacerbated her diabetes (she had one partial leg amputation and was scheduled for another right before she died of heart failure), and was a major cause of her ill health.

Yet, I have no doubt graphic pictures would not have stopped her from lighting up. She was addicted. What’s more, she would never have seen the pictures more than once, for she placed her smokes inside a red leather cigarette case. Out of sight, out of mind.

I predict a boom business for companies that make cigarette cases. It will be like an updated scene from a 1930s movie, with sophisticated metal or leather cases vying with 21st century smart phones for recognition as the coolest pocket accessory.


Spread the Dirt: There’s an old Jewish custom to be buried with a measure of dirt from Israel in the grave. I couldn’t help but think of that when news reports surfaced of plans to scoop up five gallons of dirt from the ball field on which Derek Jeter strokes his 3,000th hit and sell commemorative ounces of the soil to star-crossed fans (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/22/sports/baseball/jeters-3000th-hit-will-bring-about-as-many-marketing-possibilities.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=steiner&st=cse).

Maybe it’s me (yes, for all you grammarians out there, I know it should be “I”, not “me”), but I find it rather crazy that anyone would pay hard-earned money for dirt Jeter, or any sports figure, politicians or celebrity of any form, walked on. Maybe if it was water he walked on I’d be more inclined to spring for it, but dirt? Really, people. He’s a ballplayer, not a god.


Heil USA: BMW North America is advertising its support of the USA Olympic team with a slogan “Drive for Team USA.” Am I mistaken, but isn’t BMW a German car company? Are they aware of what BMW North America is doing back in Bavaria? Is the company also supporting the German Olympic team?

Whatever. I find it all rather disconcerting and disingenuous.